Oliver Ponder | Home | Bookshelf
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This man represents authority. Someone more knowledgeable, with more experience. Someone that knows the way. A teacher. I respect this man because he has been further than I have been. What he says I consider as likely truthful, even though I haven’t seen it myself yet.

When this man rejects an idea of mine, something I am excited about, and he doesn’t ask me to first show my work, I question my self.

I question if my ability to reason, to communicate, and to tell a story are somehow faulty.

I question if I misunderstood his worldview, and I wonder if he understood mine.

If I hold his opinion in high regard, then this causes immense turbulence in me.

Especially when what I am presenting, in my mind is like 1+1=2

And then this man says “No. 2 is a bogus concept. how about we try 3 instead."

Now I question my sanity.

The only way out is to talk to others.

Do not retreat into your own hole to figure out how 1+1 could possibly equal 3.

Do not try to convince the man if he sticks to his opinion. You can give it a few attempts… but give up and move on if it starts to get too frustrating.

Otherwise you accept cognitive dissonance. You accept that you see the world in a way that nobody else does.

These beliefs lead to disconnection, resentment, depression.

Validation is toxic if you need it for your confidence.

Validation is necessary when you are trying to determine if what you learned is actually TRUTH.

I thought he was TRUTH.

I thought TRUTH would validate me.

You don’t need to validate TRUTH.

You must check your assumptions.

But when you think you’re finally there, it can’t be validated further.

It will continue to unfold.

1+1=2 is not truth?

Truth is deeper than that.

It is fundamental.

Why does it hurt.

Because I am attached to something.

How do I let go?

Stop thinking.